I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
