Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
