she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
