I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize