every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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