So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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