First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
