i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
