You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
