oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Randomize
