Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize