I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
