I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
