spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
