Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
