I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
