I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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