Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize