No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize