I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
