explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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