Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize