Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
try to milk me bitch
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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