I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize