Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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