But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Im part way to drunk.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
