I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize