one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
