my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
