Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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