I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
May the power of my ass compel you!!
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
