Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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