How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
