U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
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You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
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I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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