Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
