Whoa Z and x make the same sound
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
