the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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