you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
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Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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