She's JV to your varsity
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she told me i tasted like america
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
