she looked like the before picture.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
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This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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