Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
