One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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