I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
