Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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