Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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