so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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