She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
