Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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