My hand turned me down
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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