I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize