I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
