You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best revenge is premature balding
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize