Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Randomize
